Winona Ryder: Hi, I just want to start by saying I'm a huge fan.
Ian Apocalypse: Cut the crap, bitch. Just ask me questions, and then we can get
to the sex.
WR: ok, ok, ok. So, what do you write songs about?
Ian: Anything that impacts my life negatively.
WR: Why all the angst and negativity?
Ian: Positivity has never really worked for me.
WR: How so?
Ian: Shut up.
WR: Ok. Sorry. What do you do in your spare time?
Ian: Go to shows, listen to music, write songs, read books and comics, work-
WR: I said spare time-
Ian: Shut the fuck up. I also like to hang out with the Faceplant Crew.
WR: Tell me about your love life.
Ian: Tell me about you shutting the fuck up.
WR: Pleeeeeeeeeezzz?
Ian: Ok. I'm single two years now, going on three and I really don't care. next.
WR: Favorite Bands?
Ian: Strung Out, Shai Hulud, Bad religion, Madball, Social D., Misfits, Sick of
it all, Bound by fate, Split Rivet, Small town Zero, Super Dodge Ball, Attack Force, Hatebreed, Good Riddance, AFI, Trial,
Mattalica, Wu-tang, Etown. Concrete's pretty cool, Blood for Blood and....let's see.....Black Flag's an old fave, Gorilla
Biscuits are classic, of course. And Green Day, (fuck you if you're even going to talk shit about my boys) H2O, and I hate
everything else.
WR: Wow. Big list.
Ian: Music's played an important role in my life.
WR: Favorite movies?
Ian: Die Hard 1&2, Payback's pretty good, Judgement Day's still great.
WR: reading anything right now?
Ian: Yes, ma'am, I'm reading Cash, by Johnny Cash.
WR: What's your favorite game?
Ian: Nailing Aaron to a cross and eating him.
WR: Hmmmmm. Anything else before we make mad passionate love?
Ian: Green Day still kicks ass. And all you stupid trendy bastards who think it's
cool to pretend to like Poison and Motley Crew can suck a retro-dick.
WR: Uuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhh, Ian, you're so manly! Give it to me, bitch!
Ian: Call me Rusty.
WR: Ruuuuuuussssssstttttttyyyyyyyy!
Ian: Eat my justice.
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